Exercise Plan, Episode Two: Who the Hell Am I?

 

See episode one here.

I hope you're getting used to your mental activity. While you're still thinking, I thought I'd bore you with my general approach and who the hell I am.

My general approach is one of wellness. I'm not going to harangue you or try and make you feel guilty: you know what frenemy is the best one to provide you with that type of thing. And if that's what motivates you, go for it (but maybe see a therapist to find out why). I think you should exercise because it promotes wellness. It makes your body feel better. That's it. It's not because exercise makes you industrious, or a more well-rounded person, or more interesting, or a better person, or smarter. Exercise does none of those things. It can, however, make you feel better.

I'm normal weight. Not thin, not fat. I run half-marathons. I run them in under 2 hours. I can run close to 8-minute miles for about 10 miles, but that's my top speed. My most comfortable running speed is about a minute slower. I don't run marathons because even though I have very sound reason to believe I have the stamina, I don't think I could run one fast enough to qualify for Boston. Until I can devote the time and energy to doing that, then I'll hold off. If that doesn't tell you everything you need to know about my psyche (in this regard, at least), nothing will. I do Pilates and yoga and I've recently started lifting weights. My friend Keosha has also just introduced me to something I like to call "hell in a one-hour bottle," but which is called DC Combat Labs.

I am obsessed with food and my weight in the norm of American (or maybe Western) women. I hate it, but it's true. I often think of all that psychic energy wasted on planning to work out, getting out of working out, planning what to eat, trying to eat more—and it truly makes me sad.

I work out 3 or 4 times a week, unless I'm feeling very bad (i.e., gaining weight) and then I try and up it to 6 or 7 times a week but usually still settle in at 3 or 4 times a week and just feel guilty about it. Despite this, I know that I should exercise for wellness and because it makes my body feel good. But I'm flawed, okay?  I also walk a great deal.

I am totally self-taught. Beloved is a triathelete and a marathoner so has given me excellent tips on how to improve my running times and training practices. But otherwise, I'm as clueless as can be.

So why NOT listen to me?

Starting an Exercise Plan

Last week, according to Science, most people dropped their New Year's resolutions. How sad, yet reasonable. The human brain, after all, can accommodate only 10% change at any given time (source: Science). Too often, NY resolutions center on big life changes.

Because most resolutions center on weight loss/exercise increase, and because I have the winter blahs, I've decided to entertain myself and possibly help someone out (but probably not) put forth a completely expert-free exercise plan. Because I have to start somewhere, I am going to presume you're starting from scratch. If you're already exercising, you may find what I write helpful anyway.

To begin: start small, and start in your head. Exercising is 90% mental. So for now, start thinking about what physical activities you do. This could be walking to your car, walking around the grocery store, anything. Just think about what you're doing now, and how you feel.

Then, start thinking about why you want to exercise and/or lose weight. When you're thinking, end every thought with, "all exercise will do is solve my exercise problem."

So:

"I want to exercise because I need to lose weight: all exercise will do is solve my exercise problem."

I want to exercise because I want to look good at the beach: all exercise will do is solve my exercise problem."

I want to exercise because I feel really self-conscious walking around: all exercise will do is solve my exercise problem."

Sound crazy? It isn't. Though you can definitely point out it doesn't make sense, it is, nonetheless, true.

That's it.  Think about what I wrote above for at least a week. And write down any thoughts if you want—but only if you want to.