TO: GOD
FROM: YOU KNOW WHO, AND YOU KNOW WHY!
SUBJECT: Hot Water
I presume you already know that there is no hot water in the health club. The purpose of this memo is to bring this matter to your particular attention. I am requesting your immediate action.
I am aware of the efficacy of ice baths as well as the school of thought that a hot shower after a workout is not the best course. However, I remind you of your own rather stringent adherence to "free will," and I ask that you allow me the opportunity to exercise it.
Since you are all-seeing, all-knowing, and (most important in this instance), all-powerful, I expect that this is a simple fix for you to make, and I expect hope you will effect implementation as soon as is practical.
I understand there are more pressing matters—or bigger problems, if you will—in this world. But since you do not seem to be tending to them they are long-term projects, I hope you will attend to this matter with dispatch.
Signed with not really a "thanks" but more like a slight reduction in resentment,
The person who was just yelling, "f***!" over and over in the showers at the health club
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