Friday, December 30, 2011

Newt Gingrich and Negative Ads

The U.S. media seems to be attributing Newt Gingrich's descent in the polls to a barrage of negative ads aired by Ron Paul's campaign as well as Super PACs that are aligned with Paul and Mitt Romney.

That's possible. But isn't it also possible that Newt is losing popularity because he's a hypocritical asshole who will clearly say or do whatever will fundamentally change his financial position for the better?

He's not timid about it, either.

When he fades, who will represent the Who (of Whoville) contingent (gratuitous slam, but it's staying)?

And finally, I can remain silent no longer--what, in the name of all that's holy, is going on with his wife's hair? It renders me transfixed when I gaze upon it. The flip, the total helmet. How long does it take to do? What happens when she sleeps on it?

Mind you, this is coming from a short-haired freak whose hair sticks out in every direction on a daily basis, but still!

2011 Year in Review: Tsunami

This past year, the world was rocked by tsunamis.

In Japan, of course, there was an actual, horrific tsunami. Other parts of Asia and Africa were rocked by political tsunamis. Here in the United States, lawmakers were swamped in a tsunami of stupid. Europe was preoccupied by its financial tsunami.

There you have it. The most concise (or lazy, depending upon your point of view) year in review you're likely to find.

Thursday, December 29, 2011

#ThingsIRegret

There is a twitter hashtag #ThingsIRegret. A lot of the tweets are about wasting time on people who aren't worth it. But quite a few are variations of "I regret nothing. My experiences make me who I am today."

Question: what makes you think you're all that?

To me, the "my experience makes me who I am today" insinuates, "and that's a good thing, because I'm an awesome person." Perhaps I am too cynical. Or worse.

I must say, I have regrets. I try to limit my regrets to shit I should have done and didn't and shit I did that was morally bankrupt. All my other "negative experiences," I attribute to ignorance, lack of experience, or stupidity.

Which leads me (somehow, but I bet you were thinking it too!), to New Year resolutions. I have a love-hate relationship with NY resolutions, but my principal one this year is to eat more mindfully.

I'll write more about this later.

Sunday, December 18, 2011

Mandy Patinkin

I have a few thoughts on Mandy Pantinkin. I want to like him, I really do. But he irritates the living shit out of me. Reason? He wrecks everything.

He was in "The Princess Bride," where he played Inigo Montoya. He was excellent, and I was kindly disposed to him.

Then he was in some doctor show. I did not watch it and do not remember what it was called. It aired sometime after "St. Elsewhere" but before "ER." I only saw snippets of the show but he was one of the leads and, consequently, interviewed a lot. He started bugging me in those interviews, seeming to take himself a little too seriously (I mean, he only PLAYED a doctor on TV).

Then, while he was on that show, he released an album of songs. And he toured. It got on my nerves.

And THEN, he was in some PBS special--an adaptation of some play or other--and he totally ruined it with his smarminess.

WORSE YET, he totally stomped all over the sunny feelings of "The Princess Bride." In the movie, he plays a character who is on a quest to find his father's killer. When he finally meets the dastardly dude (played by Christopher Guest), he says, "hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die." Then he says it over and over, to keep his courage up and because he's been practicing saying it for so long. It's a funny and triumphal scene. My niece even named her cat Inigo Montoya! In an interview with the cast of "The Princess Bride," celebrating the 20th (?) anniversary of the movie, he said how much that role meant to him, because his own father had died shortly before filming. I understand how that could be so, but did he really need to mention it in an article that was all about the fun of that movie?

And finally, ladies and gentleman of the jury: I give you this photo, which accosted me a few weeks ago when I innocently opened my Sunday paper:


It's Mandy Patinkin and Patti Lupone, ya'll, in some sort of revue on Broadway. As soon as I saw it, I just thought, "there he goes again, taking up ALL the airspace." I mean, poor Patti is barely even in the picture.

I rest my case.