Food: Cucumber Pickles

Nothing says summer like cucumber pickles, ya'll!

The first step to making cucumber pickles is to clear your calendar. This is an undertaking that takes longer than you think.

Second, go back to the person you were six months ago and instruct him/her to start saving old glass jars.

Third, clear off a big counter (or all your counters, if you have a small kitchen).

Third, make sure you have these ingredients (or maybe do this first):

·        Lots of cucumbers

·        A couple yellow onions

·        Cloves of garlic (the more, the merrier, if you ask me)

·        White vinegar

·        Sugar

·        Celery salt

·        Onion salt

·        Garlic salt

·        Regular salt

·        Pepper

·        Paprika (optional)*

Fourth, make the pickling juice: add one cup of sugar to one cup of white vinegar in a small saucepan. Heat until the sugar is absorbed in the vinegar—turn off/remove from heat (no need to simmer or boil).

Fifth, prep the cukes, onion, and garlic: peel and thinly slice the cucumbers into rounds. This is a bit of a pain, but just keep working. Slice the yellow onion in half and cut thin slices the other way (you're looking for slivers of onions)—separate the layers.

Sixth, spice the cukes, onions, and garlic: spread the cucumber rounds, garlic cloves, and yellow onion out on the counter (I guess you'd use about ¼ of an onion per big cucumber, and about 2-3 cloves of garlic per cucumber [less or more of the onion and garlic depending on your tolerance]). Sprinkle everything with a thin—and I mean thin, people!—layer of celery salt, onion salt, garlic salt, regular salt, and pepper. I don't know why you can't add the spices to the liquid directly—something to do with science, probably—but it doesn't work as well as putting them directly onto the ingredients.

Seventh, put the garlic, onion, and cucumbers into storage containers: stuff it all into the jars you have—do not use mason jars or proper pickling jars—it stops the pickling process (ironic, isn't it?). Just use old glass jars. Stuff the cukes, onions, and garlic to the tippy top. Pour the pickling juice (sugar and vinegar) into the jar. Fill the jar about 85% with the pickling juice (you need to allow space for the cucumbers to  give off water, which they will).

Eight, put the jars into your fridge. Clean your counters.

Wait one day.

Eat pickles for as long as they last. They last forever (they're pickles!), but they're so delicious, you'll have a hard time from gobbling them all up. They are slightly sweet, but not overly so. Even if you don't like sweet pickles, you will like these.

I made a big batch about 4 weeks ago and we're just now on our last jar—I've been using these as my salad—easy-peasy for summer!

I remember my mom and dad making these in the summers when I was little. Never doing anything by halves, it was a two-person operation. They would shoo all the kids out of the kitchen and spend a whole afternoon or evening on them. I remember the pungent smell of the vinegar and watching them through the doorway (in my sandals, naturally), working their way around to all the slices of all the ingredients all laid out on our counters. They made a good team. The pickles never lasted long. We loved them!

*Paprika is something I added to just one batch/jar this year, in deference to Beloved's Hungarian ancestry. It was a very good addition.